So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
