She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize