My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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