Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
