Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
