i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
