i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
