Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
