That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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