help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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