so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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