It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
