An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
