Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
