True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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