Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
