just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize