What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
