They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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