I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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