Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize