My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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