We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
