I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
