I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
