Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
