when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
