Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
zippers are such a cool invention
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
