What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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