his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
