I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Randomize
