I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
