Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
organizing the empties. That sober.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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