You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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