I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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