you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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