He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
