Well apparently he's into motor boating.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
