i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
