OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
