ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Found the puke drawer
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
