I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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