Where is the hickey?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
