I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
