my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
