If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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