I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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