That's intense
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize