Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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