Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
