she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
