he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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