Umm I'm too high to move.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
