i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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