Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
