I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize