Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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