I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
