Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize