dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
