My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
