yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
