Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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