We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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