Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot

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(754): View more from Florida

Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio

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(309): View more from Illinois

I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.

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(303): View more from Colorado

How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????

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