Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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