I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
