Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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