Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
