I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
