2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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