So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
