wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
